There’s been a big shift in how couples are looking to tie the knot, with many looking to reduce their guest lists or having a smaller, more intimate ceremony. Others are looking to do away with the traditional ceremony altogether and elope. These wedding ceremony alternatives give a unique way for couples to celebrate their love and focus on what really matters to the two of them.
But what is the difference between an elopement and an intimate wedding? Understanding these differences will help couples create a wedding day that reflects them and their vision for their marriage. So if you’re drawn to a private and adventurous elopement or a cozy intimate wedding, this guide will help you explore the key differences and help you decide which option is best for your wedding.
What is an Elopement?
Gone are the days when eloping was a taboo, secretive way to get hitched. Elopements have transformed from their traditional roots where the couple would run away to get married in secret, usually without the knowledge of their families. Elopements were usually a whirlwind, spur-of-the-moment decision for the couple.
Today, elopements are less about the secrecy and more about intentionality for the couple. Couples can choose a place that holds significance for them in a way that focuses on their commitment to each other. Couples who usually elect for an elopement want to skirt the stress of holding a large wedding and create a personal experience.
What makes it an elopement?
Experiences: First and foremost, elopements are centred on the experiences of the couple, rather than the ceremony itself. Without a guest list and a typical wedding timeline, couples can build a day that reflects who they are as a couple and what is important to them. Elopements can also be held over multiple days to create the ultimate experience for the couple.
Guest list: Typically, elopements involve just the couple who may invite an officiant and a few witnesses. (In Ontario, you need two witnesses and your photographer can be one of them!) Other times, it’s just the couple who make their marriage legal in a separate way.
Location: Many couples tend to build their elopement around a location that holds personal significance or is a stunningly beautiful backdrop, like a lookout or lakeside. Locations could also be simple like a courthouse, a backyard, or an urban park. They don’t always have to be epic and require a 10km hike, it could be a gorgeous cottage in Muskoka or an easy 1km trail. It’s totally up to the couple.
Simplicity: Elopements tend to have a toned-down vibe to wedding decor, focusing instead on the connection between the couple. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have to include any decor pieces. You can still have meaningful pieces added to your elopement, flowers, vow books and more, but it tends to be more relaxed than a typical wedding.
What is an intimate wedding?
Intimate weddings are a great way to blend the aspects of a traditional wedding with the personal feels of a small gathering. Intimate weddings tend to bring in a few more people who are usually close friends and family, with the focus of creating a meaningful and heartfelt experience shared with loved ones.
Intimate weddings maintain many elements of a traditional wedding, such as the ceremony and reception, but are generally done on a much smaller scale. Intimate weddings allow couples to engage more with their guests in a relaxed atmosphere.
What makes it an intimate wedding?
Guest list: Couples who want an intimate wedding typically only invite their closest friends and family, and guest lists are usually under 50 people. This allows couples to spend meaningful time with their guests.
Venue: Intimate weddings can be held anywhere a traditional wedding can, like churches, gardens, hotels, etc, but they also lend themselves well to more unique or non-traditional locations. Great locations for intimate weddings include cottage country resorts, campgrounds, boutique restaurants, and more. The setting is usually reflective of the couple’s style and personality.
Personal touches: With fewer guests, couples have a bit more freedom to infuse more personality into their wedding day. This could mean anything from custom invitations, personalized favours, and mini experiences for the guests, all to reflect the couple and their journey to the altar.
Wedding timelines: Intimate weddings generally follow a more typical wedding day timeline, from getting ready to wedding parties, ceremony, first dance, etc. But how each part of the day plays out is totally balanced with how the couples want to still stay focused on their connection with each other and their guests.
Key differences between an elopement and an intimate wedding
Although they seem similar, there are many differences between an elopement and an intimate wedding, from the guest list to the location to even the photography needs.
Guest Lists
Eloping couples often do not have a guest list, looking to instead have just an officiant and a few witnesses, or even just the two of them, without all the official stuff. This keeps the day focused solely on the couple’s wishes, making their day deeply personal. That said, you can still have guests at your elopement!
Intimate weddings on the other hand usually include the couple’s closest friends and family, creating a really close and personal vibe for the wedding day. It usually ranges from 10 to 50 people, so that the couple can still enjoy a great experience.
Location
Elopements tend to take place in unique, non-traditional locations that hold special meaning for the couples. From cozy cabins to epic mountainsides, the location is chosen more to reflect the couple or its beauty rather than its capacity to host a larger group. Some locations, like Canada’s national parks, require proper permits, even for elopements.
Couples who want to have an intimate wedding can still find unique locations for their day, but there are a lot more considerations to choosing a location. You’ll want to find something that can comfortably accommodate your guest list.
Budget
While budgets are completely subjective based on every couple’s dream day there are some differences on what couples are budgeting for whether their eloping or hosting an intimate wedding.
With elopements, budgets tend to be simpler as couples can allocate their budget towards what matters most to them, focusing on the experiences and essentials during the day. For example a couple might want to incorporate a helicopter flight during their day, or booking out a sail boat for the experience.
Intimate weddings will likely have to factor in costs for catering, venue rental and decor. But a smaller guest list allows couples to allocate more of their budget to personalized details and a high-quality experience.
Planning and timelines
My biggest advice for any couple, whether you are eloping or having an intimate wedding is to higher a planner. They are worth their weight in gold for so many reasons, but the biggest of them all the the ability to be your stress relief for the day.
This is the first time planning an event like this for many couples getting hitched, but weddings are a full time job for event planners, so they have so much knowledge!! Look for a planner who specializes in planning the specific type of wedding you want, and watch the magic happen.
Eloping tends to be a little simpler to plan, focusing mostly on the location, officiant, photography and permits (can’t forget about permits!). Intimate weddings require more time and planning, but can still be a more manageable experience than a traditional wedding.
Elopement Photography vs Intimate Wedding Photography
At the core of it all, your photographer is going to be telling the story of you and your day, no matter what type of wedding you have.
Photographers, like myself, can help craft the perfect elopement experience for you based on your vision for your elopement. You’ll want to find a photographer that you connect with since you’ll be spending a lot of time with them throughout your day. For an elopement, there is usually more time and fewer distractions, so photographers can really get creative on taking stunning images of your day.
With intimate weddings, photographers are still beholden to a timeline for the day, but there is also space to capture the story of your day. And there will be many more candid moments to have captured between you and your guests.
Pros and Cons of an Elopement
If you’re trying to decide between an elopement and an intimate wedding, here are some pros and cons of an elopement to consider.
Pros of an Elopement:
- Freedom and flexibility: Elopements offer so much more freedom and flexibility to couples looking to get hitched. Without the constraints of a traditional wedding or large guest list, couples can choose their own location, their own pace and their own flare to make their elopement feel most authentic to them. The possibilities are endless.
- Budget for what you want: There are fewer costs associated with guests for elopements, so you can allocate your budget to things that matter most to you, like an awesome photographer (like me!) and an incredible location.
- Lower stress: Elopements are considerably simpler to orchestrate, though there is still a lot of planning involved. Without the pressure of hosting a large event, couples can focus on the important stuff, like finding the right words for their vows!
Cons of an Elopement:
- Logistics: Sure getting married outside or in a different country sounds like a blast, but there are a lot of logistics to figure out for your day. Planners who specialize in elopements or photographers who can help craft your day will help with this!
- Lack of guests: Some guests may feel left out of your special day and some couples who elope may miss out on the feeling of loved ones on their wedding day. There are ways to incorporate guests into your elopement if you value that!
Pros and Cons of an Intimate Wedding
If you're trying to decide between an intimate wedding and elopement, here are some pros and cons of an intimate wedding to consider.
Pros of an intimate wedding:
- Personal feel: Intimate weddings allow you to interact more one-on-one with your guests who are there to share in your special day, making the day feel that much more meaningful.
- Balance of tradition and intimacy: Couples who want an intimate wedding can still have some of the more traditional elements of a wedding, like a ceremony and first dance, but it can be balanced with more personal touches to their wedding that make it feel like such a cozy affair.
- Budget stretching: With a smaller guest list, you can stretch your budget to include things that are important to you, or splurge on other things you might want to incorporate (Bouncy castle anyone?) or even more funds being available for a sweet honeymoon.
Cons of an intimate wedding:
- Lots of planning: Intimate weddings, despite being smaller, can still require a lot of planning for the couple getting married. Plus there’s the added bonus of figuring out who is on the guest list, and who is left off. That can still be a headache for couples who want to do something small.
- Location options are limited: Even though you can find some pretty unique places to get married, there are fewer options as you have to accommodate a larger crowd. Many outdoor places are cut from the list because of this, and some venues will be too large. It can feel like finding Goldilocks.
Elopement vs Intimate Wedding: What's right for you?
Choosing between an elopement and an intimate wedding is a deeply personal decision that reflects a couple’s values, priorities and vision for their marriage. Both options offer unique advantages, from the adventurous freedom of an elopement to the warm, personal connections of an intimate wedding.
If you’re drawn to the idea of a day focused solely on your love and commitment, with the freedom to celebrate in a way that feels authentic to you, an elopement might be the perfect choice. On the other hand, if you cherish the thought of sharing your day with a select group of loved ones while still maintaining a personal and heartfelt atmosphere, an intimate wedding could be the ideal fit.
Ultimately, the most important thing is to create a day that feels true to you as a couple. Whether you choose an elopement or an intimate wedding, your focus should be on what makes you happiest and best represents your relationship.
If you’re planning a wedding in Ontario and need guidance on capturing these beautiful moments, I’d love to help you craft and preserve the memories of your special day. Whether you’re envisioning a secluded elopement or a cozy intimate wedding, I’m here to capture the moments that matter most.